


fix you (in another life)

by jjjjxce



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Boys In Love, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Oma Kokichi-centric, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Rebirth, Sad Oma Kokichi, Sad Saihara Shuichi, Saihara Shuichi-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 23:47:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30096984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjjjxce/pseuds/jjjjxce
Summary: they want so badly to fix each other. if only the world didn’t stand in their way with each lifetime.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	fix you (in another life)

they spend hours curled up in bed watching violent scenes with death and gore, ignoring the world and pretending only they exist. they know it is unhealthy, they do, but they can’t stop. not when everything they know is painful and gross, not when their lives are broken and shattered like glass.

they leave the house together to go to school, and sometimes they pass by the building that began their journey together. they stare in awe, always shocked by the presence of it no matter how many times they walk to it. they become mesmerized by the height, the sheer width, the people. they stare and stare until they are ushered away into the busy street.

when they do end up at school, they are forced to separate. they part reluctantly and remind themselves that they have to stay low and blend in. usually they come together at the end of the day, battered and bruised and pained by the weight of their own thoughts.

one day, they realize that they have no hope left. they wish that they could better themselves, better their lives, but the wish never comes true. the feeling permeates their bones and souls and crushes them from the inside out. when they find out they can audition to die, they know it’s an opportunity they cannot pass up.

and suddenly, they wake up in lockers, shoved into classrooms with little memories and false knowledge of who they really are. a faint promise lingers in their mind for a bit, one of not losing the other no matter what. that memory lives them both quickly.

they introduce themselves and hardly notice the pang in their chests as they say “my name is kokichi ouma” and “shuichi saihara.” they state their talents and separate again, just as they did all that time ago during their classes. they do not see each other with bruises and bloodied knuckles next time, but instead they see fear.

the deaths begin to occur and they lose people that got them. that knew them and saw them as people instead of enemies. their friends drop like flies and they suddenly start to talk more. they connect, they bond, they laugh. one begins to wonder if this is what love feels like.

the day kokichi ouma, the once shy, passionate boy, initiates the deaths of two people is the day that shuichi saihara, the boy who had been so very kind and protective, decides that this is not love. they fight, but it is not harsh. it is cold and ignorant of their pasts, and it tears them both down beyond repair.

they desire to fix the other, they always have. they wish to put the other back together like a puzzle, piece by piece, loving them and cherishing them like a delicate flower. they tried so hard to make each other better, made so many attempts to help the other. they lost faith before they signed up to die, and even in their times of need, they lost it again.

it’s on the fifth week of the killing game that kokichi ouma, the ultimate supreme leader, a dearest lover, the “mastermind”, passes. he goes out with a bang, as he would have wanted before, but leaves shuichi with nothing. he created the hardest mystery to solve, brings down another with him in order to complete his task. it is after the true killer is revealed that shuichi saihara walks into the hangar.

he stands, face blank, looking at the bloody hydraulic press that most definitely holds the guts of his lover. shuichi does not remember the love they shared before the killing game, but he does know the one they shared inside. the love filled with mystery and secrecy yet honesty. he remembers the warmth he felt holding kokichi’s hand, remembers the look on his face when he bandaged his finger. 

shuichi saihara breaks down, ugly sobbing as he slams on the press. he screams and curses because there is a feeling inside him, a little part of the old shuichi, who hates him so much for letting his love die. he lets his friends come get him, let’s them take him to his room and comfort him, but he does not sleep that night, or any night after that.

the remaining students hold a final trial. they expose the truth, but shuichi is not satisfied. not when he sees the videos of their past selves speaking, not when he finds out he was on television, and not when he steps into the white light of the so called “outside world”. shuichi saihara is not satisfied but he must go on anyways.

he finds the real videos of himself and kokichi in their old apartment a few months later. he watches them back, absorbs the memories, and feels such grand sorrow yet happiness. it is a melancholy he can’t express. he sobs, clutches tightly onto the stuffed plushie that sat on his dingy couch. he dissociates, and when he comes to once more, he’s standing with a bottle of pain meds.

shuichi saihara overdoses five months after the killer game. his friends find him on his bathroom floor, and they grieve him. shuichi grieves too, as his remaining consciousness fades. he wonders if he will see kokichi again, hold him again, love him again.

they both wonder if, in another life, they will meet again to fix each other. and when a young boy with purple hair bounces into his classroom at hopes peak academy and announces that he’s come to take over the school, a blue haired boy in the back of the class faintly wonders why that face is so familiar, and why the presence of the other feels exactly like home.


End file.
